I turned 40 on February 11th 2021. I knew turning 40 was a big deal, but I had absolutely no idea how overwhelmed I would be by all the gifts, flowers, cards and messages I received. I felt nothing short of seen, loved and supported. I put a lot of time and effort into my relationships, and when I see it being mirrored back to me in abundance, it made me feel so damn grateful and so fucking happy to be 40 and surrounded by so much love!
Ageing is not something that bothers me, in fact I love it! My younger years felt like a struggle, always hard on myself, never feeling good enough, thin enough, pretty enough. Yadddy, yaddy, YADAHHHH.
My god, I wasted so much time on that nonsense, but I think the majority of us do, since we are a product of our patriarchal, consumerist culture that is built on NOT ENOUGHNESS.
Now I am 40, I feel like that stuff is far behind me, my mind is so peaceful and content compared to where it used to be. I enjoy life more and more as I get older and I feel like; I get it, I want to be here, I’ve got a reason to be here. Because I have found myself pursuing work that feels so right for me.
All those years peddling the fashion industry and feeling a bit out of sorts, not quite feeling like the shoe fit, but that’s the pair I had slipped on. Wow, its like the prince charming finding the right shoe for the Princess or was it Cinderella? It was like finally I have found the right shoe and finally I have found the right time in my life to really strut forward in my new shoes. You will most likely find me in flats these days, a nice pair or Birkenstocks or some fleece lined Moon Boots!
I taught a Kundalini Class this morning and I said to my little WhatsApp community, ‘Good Morning Kundalini Queens, don’t forget today’s class at 11am to fill your golden chalice’ Implying that the yoga will fill up our internal cups and fuel us with more ability to give to those around us. I made references how we are a class of Queens, not Princesses. Princesses can’t do the keep up exercises like the Queens. I ended the class by saying we are all the Queens of our own Queendom, our own inner worlds. We are the powerful creators of our lives.
I step into my 40’s without the maturing process of becoming a Mother, but I feel a sliver of transformation, nothing comparable to being a Mother, but a subtle shift. A shift in a maturation, of womanhood, of becoming a Queen. And it feels nothing short of fabulous, It feels empowering and exciting. I had no idea turning 40 would be so wonderful.
The 20’s and 30’s felt like I was fumbling around, having fun, figuring myself out, learning to love myself. I feel like my 40’s are going to be full of direction and not being afraid of asking for what I want.
The saying, ‘life begins at 40’ never felt so real.
I can only imagine how fantastic turning 50 will be!!
It feels empowering and exciting. I had no idea turning 40 would be so wonderful.
The 20’s and 30’s felt like I was fumbling around, having fun, figuring myself out, learning to love myself. I feel like my 40’s are going to be full of direction and not being afraid of asking for what I want.
The saying, ‘life begins at 40’ never felt so real.
I can only imagine how fantastic turning 50 will be!!
Holding Space